It is often contended that no word in the English language rhymes with “Orange”, but few people know the true facts of the matter: Boris Brinkle, a turn-of-the-century copyright lawyer from Hungary, devised this cruel and totally untrue rumour to deter those who seek the truth. My uncle inherited paperwork from the estate of Professor Brinkle when he passed away earlier this week, and he uncovered an explosive document, the contents of which I’ll transcribe herein.
The Brinkle List of Useful Words that Shall Be Quaranteen’d to Maintain their Purity
1) BORANGE: A belligerent fruitier.
2) LORANGE: Poor-man’s haute cuisine.
3) DORANGE: Yon wiley strumpet.
4) PORANGE: (unreadable)
5) WORANGE: Insignificant; a mere trifle.
In addition to reams of legal papers, my uncle is now the proud owner of a beautiful fob watch engraved with a most impressive limerick that we have been unable to decipher, but which by all accounts is one of the funniest passages of English text ever written.
There once lived a cranky ol’ borange
Whose wife once sat down on an orange
She whooped in surprise
Then shut fast her eyes
As her husband reached out for his porange
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